His report has just been filed:

15.45 hrs Saturday 22 February 1997

Agent Meldrew while standing on the big bank (or was it really an ancient iron age burial mound?) stirring his tea (he thinks it was tea!) when all of a sudden the spoon bent. This Spooky decided was a sign and the first clue as to what he was up against. Was his spoon a crude dowsing device, which detected something buried deep in the past?

17.30 hrs Saturday 22 February 1997

Exeter City gardener/groundsman Ray Martian pulled Spooky to one side and told him for many years there's been this big white circle in the middle of his pitch, He added that there were other smaller green circles which tend to come and go throughout the year. It's weird he exclaimed, "It's them there crop circles and they’re made by UFOs you know". This was another clue, had aliens visited St James' Park? Spooky had his suspicions but at this time all he would reveal that this was a sign.

19.00 hrs Saturday 22 February 1997

Spooky moved his investigations to the Centre Spot where he ordered another pint from Gorby who was a talkative intellectualite of a barman at the Social Club. During conversation Gorby mentioned that he once saw 11 green men running about this so called crop circle - could this be aliens? was this yet another sign? Spooky would not disclose this until he had spoken to two characters who regularly enjoy more of the Centre Spot's finest beverage than is good for them. These two regulars Neil Harris Jnr and Don Beaton had divulged that while visiting the gent's lavatory for something they had both experienced time loss. Was this another example of alien abduction? Spooky suddenly shouted "yes!" (but even stranger in that they were not abducted).

23.30 hrs Saturday 22 February 1997

Spooky had heard of other myths at the "Park" more than one of them involved a certain 'Bird'. He pointed out that Dido, a one time City mascot, is an anagram of do di this was too bizarre to be true. He then began to ramble, his voice began to tremble as beads of perspiration began to appear on his forehead, had he solved the riddle of the curse of the Park? As the 'Spot fell hushed he went on to explain that the Amazonian parrot of the Inca tribe brought back by the City team in 1914 was a factor too. It was buried, dug up and then buried once more. This was a bit like our Club's prospects, there were too many coincidences to be true.

He downed his pint got up to leave and as he got to the door he turned and said "Get rid of the Bird and the curse will lift from the "Park"

The truth is out there