At a meeting of the governing council of elders of the True Congregation of the Flat Earth Society, it was decided on 14th May 1997 to approach The Reverend Doctor Lee Harvey Oswald Smith, Chairperson of The Flat Earth Society with a view to seeking mutual affiliation between The Flat Earth Society chaired by Rev. Smith and the True Congregation of the Flat Earth Society.
In pursuance of this commission, a letter was written, under the seal of the Honourable
Hector Vansen-Jones and despatched as follows:
Sir,
Greetings and salutations from the International Bretheren of the True Congregation of the Flat Earth Society .
For many years we have loyally (and Imperially) dedicated our time to the propagation of Flat Earthist doctrines and theories. We have, on many occasions, succeeded in refuting and rebutting Globist and Rotationist arguments and assertions on several continents.
We came upon your own Society when it was decided by the membership that we should begin to give access to some of the less confidential and reserved information in our possession, relating to this topic, as part of our ongoing project proposing conciseness and clarity in communication.
Should you be interested, the start of this project may be accessed using appropriate technological tools at http://www.personal.u-net.com/~napoleon/flaterth.htm.
We have taken the liberty of inserting in this document an indicator pointing out your own most useful repository of information relating to Platygaeanist issues. Should you object to this we would, of course, be happy to delete the reference.
The reason for this missive is to propose a mutual affiliation between our two societies, an exchange of information and possible collaboration in research projects. We would also anticipate some debate, as it is clear to us from some of your statements that you may be misinformed in a number of key respects, though obviously we would not be in a position to enlighten you in full as some of this information is restricted, in terms of our articles, to the senior illuminati of our society.
We would also welcome your support, in areas of agreement, in our debates with some other, rather less rational and, indeed, in some cases fundamentally misguided, Societies of Flat Earthists.
As a mark of our esteem you will find, at the end of this communication, the results of some of our recent researches on the subject of the SPAM which has played such an important role in supporting voyages to all the corners of the earth.
With the most felicitatious greetings and protestations of respect,
We remain, in the hope of a favourable response,
Yours faithfully
SPAM is what English people fed their children on during the war. It consists of ground up bits of dead American animals (SPAMinals). Therefore anything is SPAM. It represents the protoserum of the Anglo-American Life Force. Also the base ingredient of school meals for persons of a certain age and, hence, a fundamental structural unit in the creation of **MONTY PYTHON**.
Monty Python is the link between the SPAMISH INQUISITION and gangsters who nail people's heads to coffee tables and therefore to QUENTIN TARANTINO. Thus SPAM is the PULP in PULP FICTION.
This is a film linking the erotic with violent pink death in the back of a car, an implicit cultural reference to the mating behaviour experienced in the DRIVE IN MOVIE and hence to BURGER AND CHIPS, MACDONALDS PAMburgers and to HAPPY MEALS for children. The archetypal family dinner in a 2 up, 2 down terraced house in Bromley in Kent was, of course, SPAM.
After a Sunday breakfast of SPAM, it was normal to take communion, the universal SACRED MEAL, or body of SPAM, which, like the SACRED HEART and the HOLY SPAMily, was carried to SPAMerica by the SPAMISH CONQUISTADORS. There it was imposed as a SYMBOL OF COLONIALISM on the indigenous Indians or SPAMZTECS, and became a part of their extended culture mixing in Brazil with the African slave cults to form the CARNIVAL in Rio and involving the famous GIRL FROM ISPAMINA.
Here the oppressed poor are allowed by the alienated LUMPEN BOURGEOISIE (LUMPS OF SPAM, of course) to get their ROCKS OFF without threatening the exploitative structure of society, inventing erotic LATIN DANCES like the SPAMBA etc. Indeed, privation always shows the essential truths of society - for example in the twenty years Karl Marx spent writing DAS KAPITAL (original title: daS PANne des Volkswirtschaft) what did he eat?
When Jan van Riebeck colonised Africa, his ships were called the DROMEDARIS, the JONGE TOMAS and the SPAMTA MARIA and on his arrival he set up a chain of shops called SPAM (now corrupted to SPAR) for the sale of this product.
In Australia, the original name of the capital of Queensland was BriSBAMe and it is no coincidence that the discoverer of Australia was CAPTAIN COOK. I could go on.....
SPAM could be the essence of life.
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